An incomplete history of the Bureau of Romantic Translation, as told through internal memos.
On the evening of October 14, Channel 7 weather anchor Brenda Hollings, mid-broadcast, gestured at a low-pressure system off the coast of New Jersey and stated, on air: “That right there is exactly what Greg looked like emotionally for nine years.” She continued for forty-two seconds. The station cut to commercial. She was reassigned the following Monday.
The Bureau of Romantic Translation was created when nobody else would take her. Initial brief: read submitted dating bios, identify falsehoods, recommend rewrites. Brenda has, to date, processed approximately four billion REDACTED profiles.
She is not allowed to mention Greg in official documents. She mentions Greg in 41% of official documents.
Effective immediately, civilians may submit their own profiles for review. Field Agent status (one-time fee) unlocks the printable diploma, archived history, and side-by-side comparison of two profiles. All findings are issued under penalty of perjury and Brenda's personal exhaustion.